The Hoboken Surprise/Transcript
|General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Other|Other}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- Scene I: Zoo Storage Pictures of a ship is shown on a box with the title Commodore Danger. The box is put down, revealing a rather mediocre-looking ship which Rico is still trying to assemble. Kowalski: (disappointed) It looked a lot more exciting on the box. Kowalski throws the box aside, upset. Skipper: It always does, Kowalski. Alright now, summer vacation status report. Private: '''Cargo loaded Skipper! We're set for a full week's set for fishing in the Massachusetts coast! '''Skipper: Outstanding! I'm dying to tango with their mysterious cape cod. Ha! Skipper lunges the fishing rod. Rico licks the last piece of the ship and sticks it on the bottom. Rico: Rock n' roll! Skipper: Let's float this bucket. Kowalski, how's our cover? Kowalski presses a button the a remote, activating a hologram projector disguised as a fish, creating a projection of them doing their usual smile-and-wave routine. Kowalski: Classic smiling and waving with a holographic twist! Scene II: Penguin Habitat Mort passes by the penguin's habitat and, seeing the penguins smiling and waving, waves back. Mort: Hi! About to leave, he notices that the holograms are still smiling and waving. Mort: Hi, hello! Yes it is still me waving to you! My arm is getting hurty! The camera slowly pans over to the sky showing the words "The Hoboken Surprise". Which starts the vacation of the penguins. The scene fades to show... Scene III: Massachusetts Coast The scene appears on the Massachusetts Coast, on the vessel boarded by the penguins. Kowalski looks over a telescope, viewing the coast while Skipper pilots the ship and Private and Rico play a game of chess. Kowalski: 3 hours of smooth sailing to Nantucket Sound, Skipper. Skipper takes a good whiff of the fresh air. Skipper: Take it in boys. That's the salty air of sweet freedom. There are no rules on the open water. Rico: Oh yeah? Private: AH! Rico regurgitates a crowbar and repeatedly smashes the chess pieces before regurgitating out a flamethrower and burning up Private's side of the board. Satisfied, he rests the flamethrower on his shoulder and smiles. Rico: Checkmate! Private: (worriedly) Skipper? Skipper: Open water, Private. You know, legally, he could sell pirates for whale oil in a barrel of nut-bags. Rico pulls out a hacksaw from behind his back and stares at it in awe. Behind them, a dark cloud grows. Private: No! I mean "Skipper?!" Private points to the darkening sky behind them as Kowalski turns around and jumps up in shock. Kowalski: Egad!! The weather's started getting rough! Thunder and lighting appear. Private: Our tiny ship will be tossed!! Skipper: Hold fast! It's barely a three hour tour from here!! A three hour tour!! Thunder gets louder as Kowalski, Rico and Private start to panic. Skipper: Hoist the mainsail! Screaming, Private quickly does as he was told. Skipper: Or is it cut the mainsail? Let's see, when the weather's turning moist, always cut, never hoist. (realizing his mistake) Uh... The waves of the water gets stronger and lighting strikes above them, turning their ship around, the penguins begin to panic as their ship spins out of control. Rico is hit in the face by a bottle of sunblock, a fish (which he promptly eats) and a duck. Rico: Oh come on! The rough weather clears out and the sky brightens. Private: There, you see? The sun always come out after---- The penguins soon realize they're high up in the sky, and immediately fall. They panic as they quickly fall down with their ship. Except Rico, who is having a blast. Scene IV: Hoboken They land in the middle of a road, dizzy as their tiny ship knocks out a civilian in the background. Guy in a Car: Holy cow! You see that! Penguins falling out of the sky over here. Kowalski: Oh! Skipper: Ugh! Well boys, looks like we're starting this vacation back from Square One. Lady: They look pretty rough. Somebody oughta get 'em back to the zoo! Guy in a Car: What, are you crazy? I ain't drivin' all the way to Manhattan! The lady walks up to the taxi. Lady: Who said anything about Manhattan? We got a zoo right here in Hoboken. She points behind her as the penguins look up in shock. They see a billboard saying 'If it ain't Hoboken, Fix it!' and another billboard blows up while a guy runs across the street holding a TV. Skipper: 'No!!! ''The guy in the car puts a crate on them, trapping them. Scene V: Penguin Habitat The penguin holograms are still waving to an exhausted Mort. '''Mort: (tiredly) Hola, aloha, kon'nichiwa... Mort falls over in exhaustion. Julien comes out of nowhere, and glare at Mort angrily. Julien: Mort, you lazy! How dare you bow down to something that is not me! Mort: (still tired) The...penguins... Julien: Oh, the penguins! Why flappity-flappity fah-fah-fah! What is so special about...?! Julien cuts himself off when he notices the penguin holograms waving to them. '' '''Julien': Oh hello. Heh, howdy. Ah yes, it is still me, waving to you! With both hands! Maurice who was standing around, walks through the holograms. Maurice: Uh, your majesty. Maurice turns off the projector, and the penguin holograms disappear. Julien gasps. Julien: Something unspeakable must have become of the penguins! Julien pauses for awhile and realizes something. Julien: Oh. Squaddle party! Scene VI: Penguin HQ Maurice is hanging up lanterns while Mort bounces around on a bazooka. Mort: Yeehaw! I'm a bazooka cowboy! The bazooka explodes, and Mort disappears, leaving a gaping hole in the HQ. Julien comes into view with his arm around Ms. Perky. Julien: (flirtatiously) I'm just saying, you don't have to be lonely. Scene VII: Crate The four penguins are seen in a crate, shivering. Rico hacks up a glow stick, and snaps it to get it to glow. It makes a weird sound, as it glows blue, and he places it in the center of the crate. Kowalski shudders. Kowalski: Hoboken. The New Jersey nightmare comes true at last. Skipper: Remember boys, penguins go down fighting. Even if we lose one of our own! I'm betting Private. Private: Me too. The crate shifts around, which makes Kowalski and Rico slam into Skipper and Private. Private: I'm scared Skipper. Skipper: Use that fear Private. Choke it down, make it into a tiny hate ball in your gut! Now show me your war face! Private screams, and tries to make a scary face. Kowalski and Rico get up and start yelling. Skipper: Hoboken! Scene VIII: Hoboken Zoo The crate opens, and the guys stop screaming from shock. Hoboken is completely and utterly...clean. It shows a golden gate, and a fountain with golden seals spouting water. It turns to a couple of trees, and you can hear laughter. Private: What was that? Rico regurgitates a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse and as he's about to throw it, someone takes it. Rico: Woah! Skipper, Private, and Rico jump away from the crate, while Kowalski goes back in hiding from whoever took the dynamite. As they roll away, it shows that its Lulu. Private: Lulu? Kowalski pops his head up from the crate. Kowalski: Phil's old simian flame? Lulu blows out the fuse. Lulu: It's alright everyone, you can come out now! It flashes over to show Hans come out from behind a fancy plant pot. Kowalski: Hans? Savio comes slithering down around a tree and faces them. Kowalski: Savio? Clemson comes down from the sky, with Rhonda coming down shortly after. Kowalski: Clemson and Rhonda too? Skipper: What in the name of returning guest characters? Its villain-mageddon! Hans: Not even close, my former foe. Savio: It's time for a taste... of Hoboken hospitality! Savio slithers to the penguins, and music starts to play. They start to sing to the penguins. Hans: (singing) In the happy little land of Hoboken,-- Hans and Lulu: (singing) Where a unkind word is never spoken! You can bet your left flipper that we'll get you feeling chipper-- All Hoboken animals: Today! Clemson: (singing) For the price of a lousy subway token, you can catch the next train to Hoboken! Let our wares does the cares! Lulu: (singing) To our droopy derrieres-- Clemson, Lulu and Savio: (singing) Ole! The scene shifts over to a dark room with a piano as a spotlight flashes over Hans. Hans: (singing) We were once quite rotten, Savio: (singing) Tragic yet true. Hans: (singing) Naughty ninnies wanted ____ Lulu: (singing) Not me. Hans: (singing) Yes, fine, I was speaking generally. Rhonda comes down from a slide similar to Marlene's back at the Central Park Zoo. Rhonda: (singing) But here our past is forgotten! Clemson: (singing) We're good? I'm good! (hugs the penguins) All Hoboken Animals: (singing) It's the end-of-summer anti-bummer life of zoo luxury... Hans, Clemson and Savio: (singing) In the perky peppy land of Hoboken! Where anger never gets provoken! Rhonda: (singing) Never holding bitter grudges, Hans: (singing) Having toasty little fudges, Hans hands a plate of fudge to Private, who is ecstatic. Private: (singing) No way! (sees Skipper staring at him) What? Clemson: (singing) It's paradise! Savio: (singing) They serve the freshest mice! Lulu: (singing) It turns the bad to nice! All Hoboken Animals: (singing) In the happy little land of Ho... The animals stop singing as Skipper abruptly jumps into the scene, kicks Rhonda, punches Hans repeatedly in the face and flipping Savio onto Lulu. The other penguins panic and stops him. Private: Skipper, no! The penguins restrain him as Clemson scurries away. Skipper: Aw, don't tell me you're buying this singsong claptrap! It's Hoboken! (sadly) Where hope goes to croak! Clemson: Okay, technically, you're right. Skipper smirks and winks confidently at the others. Clemson: Don't look so smug, I said you're right! Rhonda: But Hoboken has changed! We got this new lady in charge; Zookeeper Frances, sister knows her swank! (winks) Hans jumps on Rhonda's head. Hans: Frances gives us activities, fine cuisine, even massage chairs! Hans gestures over to Clemson standing next to three massage chairs. Clemson: And who does not love a good massage chair? Hans jumps on one of the chairs. He feels relaxed as he lays down on the massage chairs. Hans: Oh yes... Savio: It's such a paradise, who could remain evil? Rhonda agrees with Savio's statement. Rhonda: Not me. Clemson: I second that! Or is it third? I lost track, hey! I'm so happy over here. Clemson joins Hans and relaxes on a massage chair. Hans: So happy... Private: Actually Skipper, the new Hoboken Zoo does look like a smashing vacation spot! Skipper: Rico, knock the pixie dust out of Private's eyes Rico: Okay. Rico smacks Private at the back of his head. Private rubs his head in pain. Skipper: I am not vacationing in New Jersey's own fright-portal to Hades! Lulu: I assure you this zoo is perfectly... Frances: (in the distance) Are those my new arrivals I hear? Skipper: Zookeeper incoming! Bug out men! The penguins belly slide away, except Private, who waddles slowly to them as Skipper fails to climb over a wall. Private: Honestly, I don't see what's so wrong here. Skipper: Open your nose Private, this zoo reeks of dark master plans! Question is, who's the dark mastermind? They turn around to see the zookeeper, Frances, right behind them. Frances: (singing) In the shiny tiny land of Hoboken, where nothing's ever dirty or broken! Frances does a twirl and grabs them, skipping to the other animals and throwing the penguins up in the air. Frances: (singing) Here's a tip, stay awhile! Take a trip to the smile buffet! In the happy little land of Hoboken, U.S.A.!! (spins around with the penguins in her arms) Hooray! Skipper: Dark mastermind. Kowalski: Totally! Frances: Welcome, welcome, spankin' new Hobokeners! I am going to take such good care of you! She cuddles the penguins as Skipper tries to escape from her grip. Private: Why does there always have to be an evil mastermind with you?! I think somebody just can't let himself unwind and enjoy a proper holiday! Skipper starts choking on something while the others stare at him as he slowly regurgitates a giant tooth, at which Rico seems impressed. Skipper: Behold, the Hoboken Emergency Hollow Tooth! Kowalski: But... we don't... have teeth. Skipper: You think I don't know that?! Hoboken emergency activate! Scene IX: Penguin HQ In the penguins HQ, the lemurs are watching TV when the emergency alarms Computerized Voice: Save us in Hoboken, we are in Hoboken. A map to Hoboken appears behind the lemurs. Computerized Voice: Seriously, Hoboken. It's in New Jersey. Exit 14 C. Maurice: Shouldn't we do something about that? King Julien spits at the speakers and it malfunctions. Maurice: No, that doesn't really fix the problem. King Julien : But it fixed my problem of not hearing the television box. Now swivel the royal melon. Television:You're watching the Non-Stop Dance Boogie Network. King Julien: OH! Ooh, Ooh Ooh. Eh, mister Mort, set the booty to stunning! Mort spits on Juliens booty, and wipes it clean with a cloth. Mort: Engage. Television: Now lets get back to Neverian polka week! Julien: AH! German folk music! My booty's only weakness! Julien cowers onto the ground. Julien: AH, change it! Change it! Change it! Maurice, and Mort start looking for the remote near the TV. Julien: This is the most disgusting thing I've ever been made to witness. Although maybe when the shock wears off- Julien looks at the TV, seeing the German folk dancing again. Julien: GAH! It is even worse the second time! Maurice, why are you not making it go away?! Maurice: We cant find the remote your majesty! Julien: 'What? This is the most outrageous- ''Julien see's the German folk dancing again. '''Julien: AH! I got so outraged I forgot about not looking... Julien gets up perfectly fine. He shields his vision from the TV with his hands. Julien: This lack of remotecontrolness is unacceptable hospitality! And somebody must pay! Mort: '''Is it the penguins?! '''Julien: Ah, yes sure. They'll do. If only I know where to find, and yell at them. Maurice points to the map behind him. Maurice: Id try Hoboken. Julien: But I'm having a much better idea. Scene X: Hoboken Zoo Francis giggles happily while she carries the penguins. Francis: So obviously, we weren't expecting you but I'm sure you can get along with the puffin until we fix up a proper habitat. Skipper gasps as they approach the Puffin Habitat. Skipper: The puffin! (looks suspiciously at Hans) You see Hans waving at them from his habitat. Scene XI: Puffin Habitat Francis drops off the penguins on to the Puffin Habitat where they meet up with Hans. Hans kindly greeted them afterwards. Hans: Oh yah! We're going to be the best of chummy-fun pals. Skipper takes Hans by his chest feathers, and glares at him. Skipper: No yah. I'm not your fun pal, you demented dame. Skipper releases him, and continues to glare. Skipper: 'I need evil zookeeper intel asap! So are you going to spill your gizzard, or do I spill it for you. ''Hans glares at Skipper, and then begin to circle each other. '''Hans: Tickle fight! Hans begins to tickle Skipper under his flippers, and Skipper starts to laugh uncontrollably. He begins to tickle his chest, and then back under his flippers. Hans: Oh, someone has a tickle spot! Private: Massage chair party! Who's in? Hans stops tickling Skipper, much to his relief. Hans: '''I'm in! ''Francis hugs Rhonda, and then twirls, and hugs Savio. '' '''Skipper: Kowalski, analysis. Kowalski, and Rico waddle up to Skipper, who recovers himself. Kowalski: It appears zoo keeper Francis has them too terrified to talk. Instead they mask there fear with hollow smiles, and tickle games. Rico smiles, and starts tickling Skipper. Skipper starts laughing uncontrollably, again. Rico looks up at Kowalski, who shakes his head disapprovingly. Skipper: Stop, stop, stop it! Stop it! Rico looks up at Kowalski, who shakes his head disapprovingly. Rico then stops tickling Skipper. Rico: Aw... Skipper jumps back up. Skipper: What has that perky fiend done too them! You can see Private on a massage chair, with Hans in the background. A green light comes up the massage chair, and looks like its scanning Private. The light goes through the cord for the massage chair, and goes down into the ground. It shows four pictures of penguins. Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private shaped. A green light starts to fill up the Private picture. Scene XII: Puffin Habitat The scene opens to one of the penguins using the spy binoculars at Francis office. Kowalski: And now its the mini vac. That's six strait hours of cleaning. Somebody needs a hobby. Skipper takes the binoculars from Kowalski. Kowalski whips out his notebook, and pencil. Skipper: Evil is her hobby. Its shows her vacuuming the air till a white cloud goes away. It comes back, and she rushes over to suck it up. Skipper: And no mini vacuum can suck up its___ Private zooms across the binoculars. Private: '''This is the greatest vacation ever! It shows all the Hoboken animals, and Private on a water ski. Rico whines, and wants to join them, but Skipper holds him back. '''Skipper: Alright you soft pretzels, were cracking this dames happy-cacky racket. Kowalski, check the big book of mad zookeeper conspiracies. Kowalski takes out a book, and Rico goes over, and looks at it with a bored expression. Kowalski: Lets see...there's entire zoo swapped out for look alike robots. Rico eyes widen at those words.Skipper holds out a flipper, and it smacks Hans face. It makes him fall off, and then causes the other animals to fall off as well. Skipper: '''Nope. That's a good fleshy feel. What else you got? Scene XIII: Hoboken Zoo ''Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico pop out of bushes, and look around suspiciously. '' '''Kowalski: A paranoid scenario number 2, animals are hunted for sport by the worlds lunatic billionaires. Skipper: Too bad they made one classic mistake. Never hunt a hunter! Skipper jumps on a man in front of them, and slaps the back of his neck, knocking him out. The man falls on the ground, with Skipper on his back. You hear a gasp, and the screen turns to show multiple kids. '' '''Girl:' That bird hit teacher J.J The kids growl, and yell as they start after Skipper. It shows Kowalski, and Rico, and they were watching, and listening to Skippers screams. Kowalski: Uh..gah...oh...ooo Kowalski closes the book, and hides it in front of his face, so he wont see Skipper getting beat up. Rico continues to look on. Skipper slams onto the ground in front of them. Skipper: So many tiny hands... A kid takes Skipper by his feet, and pulls him away. Skipper yells in suprise, and you can hear more screams, and punches. Scene XIV: Francis's Office, Night Time Kowalski is seen typing on a computer. Skipper pops out from a desk drawer. Skipper: Tell me what im looking for Kowalski. Kowalski: Any evidence that zookepper Francis is consorting with aliens, demons, and/or man eating carnvious eating plants. A drawer behind Kowalski is pushed open, and Rico comes up from it. Rico: I got nothing. Skipper: All I got is some kind of zoo animal brochure. Kowalski takes the brochure from Skipper. Kowalski: Skipper, this is no brochure, no, no. Its a... cookbook! Skipper: What?! Rico rubs his stomach. Rico: Mhmm...wait...whaat?! Kowalski is looking at the piece of paper, and lets it fold down. Kowalski: Uh...no, its a brochure. Oh! Did you know they have a cheese fountain here? Rico overhears about this and jumps in excitement while checking out the brochure. Rico: What?! Rico grabs the map, and slaps Kowalskis back, and jumps away with the map.Leaving Kowalski twirling around from the force of the slap then falls to the ground. ''Skipper, and Kowalski look out a window, and see all the Hoboken animals together Private at a cheese fountain. Rico come sout from the cheese, and spits out cheese, and goes to catch it in his mouth. He looks at them, and starts flapping his flippers up and down. Rico: Party!!! Scene XV: New York City, Toy Store, Night Time Julien: FFOOORRRRTTTTT! Scene XVI: Puffin Habitat Coming Soon Scene XVII: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XVIII: Inspiration Nook Coming Soon Scene XIX: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XX: Underground Lair '' Beating up sounds'' Scene XXI: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXII: Underground Lair Coming Soon Scene XXIII: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXIV: Underground Lair Coming Soon Scene XXV: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXVI: Hoboken Zoo Entrance Coming Soon Scene XXVII: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXVIII: Hoboken Zoo Entrance Coming Soon Scene XXIX: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXX: Hoboken Zoo Entrance Coming Soon Scene XXXI: Hoboken Zoo Coming Soon Scene XXXII: Hoboken Zoo Entrance Coming Soon Scene XXXIII: Hoboken Coming Soon Scene XXXIV: Penguin HQ The lemurs are watching television showing chaos Hoboken on screen. Screaming of citizens are heard Julien: Huh, boring! What else is on? Julien grabs the remote and turns the channel. Accidentally, the channel he turns to is German Polka Dancing which made him panic. Julien: AH!! It is like poison for my eye stomachs!! Julien throws Mort on the TV, turning of the television program. Mort: Uhh...!! The scene fades to black.... ---- RETURN TO |General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Other|Other}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- END OF ARTICLE ---- Category:Transcripts